Last night, all of our visitors left, and I was sitting by Clay’s bed watching him breath. Suddenly, I got scared. Fear came and settled on me. I was not sure he would make it through the night and my mind starting imagining the scenario. The kids were with me and they could see that I was upset. So, they came around Clay’s bed with me.
I called Dr. Gummadi and his words calmed me. When I hung up, Sam said, “Mom, I think we should just pray.” The five of us sat around Clay’s bed and prayed for about five minutes. Sam prayed the most beautiful prayer I’ve ever heard him pray. It was exactly what I needed in that moment. I felt the fear leave immediately when he began to pray. It reminded me of Psalm 34,
I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
he saved me from all my troubles.
For the angel of the Lord is a guard;
he surrounds and defends all who fear him.
Taste and see that the Lord is good.
Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!
Fear the Lord, you his godly people,
for those who fear him will have all they need.
We prayed to the Lord and He answered us. He calmed me completely and His peace filled our room. We sat around Clay’s bed and talked about funny memories of him. He has been such a good dad, so the kids have plenty of stories to tell. We laughed and Clay tried so hard to say some words to us. I know he was listening to Sam’s prayer and that he knows the work God has done in our children through this time. What an honor for him to know that he leaves them with Jesus.
What began as a fearful moment, became really beautiful because the Lord heard our cry. If you ever take anything away from our blog, this is what I hope you really understand…..
God does not love me and my family any more than He loves you. Every single thing He does for us, He can do for you. He is no respecter of persons. He wants you to feel as loved as we feel. He desires to bless you just as He blesses us. He is near to you if you will draw near to Him.
As we walk through the valley of the shadow of death this week, I was reminded of a beautiful picture the Lord gave me several months ago. Clay and I traveled with Lee and Carla (our pastors) to a conference in Florida where we shared our testimony. The YouTube video is below.
I hope you have time to listen because I don’t have time to write this really thoughtfully! (smile) And, the thought is so good. (P.S. The message the Curtis McGeehee preaches, after I share, is so beautiful. If you need encouragement today, listen to it.)
Last night, I could see this image of us so clearly. In the valley. The shadow falls all around us, but we can also see the light behind the shadow. The light is God. Jesus sits with us at our table in the valley and there is food, candles, our entire family, joy, laughter, peace. The best part is that our enemy stands there. When he thought he was dragging us into fear, death, darkness and loneliness, he is now forced to watch us eat our beautiful meal here at this table that Jesus prepared for us in the presence of our enemy.
When Sam prayed that prayer last night, and then we sat together to tell stories the remind us of God’s faithfulness, I felt like we were sitting right there at that table with Jesus. It was so real. God is so good.
So, then we slept. Good, too. Clay rested. I slept in the bed with him and all three kids stayed upstairs with me. And, for all of you who think I hate our dog…..Ellie slept up here, too! We left the worship music praying all night and God’s peace was here with us.
Here are a few shots of the past few days. We love you, all! Thank you for helping us and for praying.
I leave you with this beautiful picture. Clay is peaceful. All his words have been said. All his wishes fulfilled. His work on earth is complete and he is resting. He sleeps good and he is very calm. Today, I saw him raise his arms. When they settled back down, this is where his hands were. I whispered to him, “Are you praying?” I think he was…